ATTN: students of Pekin

Children, children. There's no way for me to say this to you without feeling like my dad, but seriously. Get a haircut. Your shit looks completely tragic right now. I know you think you know what's up, and that's cool. I was the same way. But I also had a fucking tragic string of hair styles, and I regret it now as an adult who has had to seal away a number of years worth of formative photos. So, for your own good, get a haircut. There's no need to be all 50's about it. I'm not looking to cure good Charlotte-itis with a good ole' duck butt, or a pompadour - just get an actual hair style, and get a haircut at least every 6-8 weeks.

This whole shaggy, neo-70's hair thing going on right now is o.k. by me. But in order to do it, you need semi regular upkeep. See, if you are a rock star, or a model, or someone with a regular job well-to-do enough to afford regular hair care - you're going to be ok. Let out that hair, that long beautiful hair. But the children, they don't get it yet. They want to show how seriously rebellious and individual they are. And how much they fit in.

So they just sort of let it go. And unfortunately for them, not getting a haircut is not a style - it just makes you look like a douchebag. Oh, god - and then they do that stupid-ass brush it to one side of your face move, creating hair that comes down their forehead, and then goes at least 4 inches over to one side as well. This also forces them to constantly snap their head back and to one side just a little to shift their hair out of their eyes, but not all they way. Just a little.

So all I'm saying to all the students attending the various junior high schools and upper grade schools in pekin is this: I'm just looking out for you. You don't need to look like me ( please don't look like me) just stop looking like such a bunch of mangy little fucks.