Mountains

Only having seen mountains once it was startling to open the window and see them there. Immobile, but staring right back as if to say "Fuck you for ignoring us, we've been around for ages. Who the fuck do you think you are?"
A challenge from the mountains? What was I to do? I Smashed my elbow through the window, things began zipping about the cabin. Children screaming, adults screaming. I grabbed a complimentary airline blanket, held it by the four corners.
"Fear not brave passengers! This challenge most foul shall not go un-avenged!" I crawled out the window, and began to float down. Now the mountains became unsure. Their authority had never really been directly confronted before.
"Hey mountain!" I yelled.
"......"
"I said, hey mountain!"
"Me?"
"Are there any other mountains here?"
"...Well, no." The mountain seemed a bit sheepish, all bark and no bite. I kicked the mountain as hard as I could.
"Who matters now, huh? You like that, bitch? You're a hill!"
The mountain shuffled away. "Please stop, I'’m sorry."
Triumphantly I raise my fist. I rule another day.